When I was younger I shared household with my step dad, mom, brother and sister for a year and a half. One of my favorite activities during breaks was "fucking" (not literally) with my siblings, eating and annoying the cat.
This one time something "awesome" happened, I heard some ruckus upstairs and I quickly ran up wanting in on the action. The scenario I saw before me was my mom in a rage, ferociously leaning forward (to look more intimidating) cussing and screaming at the top of her lungs. Behind her I saw my brother and his mate both looking down with a slightly nervous, semi-terrified look of guilt and despair.
Apparently she had gone in his room unannounced to tell him dinner was almost ready, and when she opened the door my brother's friend was showing him this "awesome" lighter trick, where you stand on a matress, have a plastic bag (not sure what that's for) and you inhale the gas, shortly afterward you pass out and you wake up all giggly and stupid.
I place myself next to my mom, on her left I think it was, and I put on my "disappointed son" expression while shaking my head, mumbling in a low voice. "mm, so she caught you sniffing too".
My mom, (not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, cleanest glass in the cabinet, most fitting of gloves in the gloves compartment so forth) turns around with her mouth wide open in disbelief.
Holds her rage for a few seconds, my brother knows what's going on, his jaw start going limp too by the looks of it, but he's still frozen, he doesn't act.
And she screams.... "YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!!! YOU SAID YOU NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE!!"
Then she looks at me, with fire in her eyes... "You knew about this??"
I try to look as disappointed as I can, I mustered up the calmest voice I could find in the situation. "I caught him once, yes, and I nearly kicked his ass, told him if I ever caught him doing it again, I'd tell you".
In the blink of an eye, 100% of her rage was now solely focused on my brother. (At this point she seem to be struggling finding words, mostly incoherent cussing and shouting coming out of her).
To my last comment my brother 's eyes were going like this ÔÔ, reaching his hand out, pointing at me, trying to speak.
"But mom... nooo, he never.... Mom, he's ly...!!"
Only to be cut off short....
"NOT A WORD, IM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW, NOT A SINGLE MORE WORD FROM YOU TONIGHT"
In the aftermath he's not allowed to hang with his friend anymore, he weaseled his way out of it saying he got tricked/forced, he also got grounded for x amount of weeks, only school was allowed. (His age at the time was around 15).
After the 10 min of fun I run down to continue my "work". (Was doing my grind to Rank 14, hehe).
That particular day I was doing an all niter, and when the night creeps in it's like you get more creative, get more ideas and think much more clearly. And this night was no different, I suddenly got hit by a stroke of geniusy (yes, that is a word, I ran it by Celz).
Clock is around 03:00 - 04:00 or so, I run up to the kitchen and I start frantically going through drawers, cabinets and gather up all the "stuff" I need in a large plastic bag. Next stop is the living room, I get some of mom's magazines, I then "graciously", like a cat (I like cats) dart outside to the garage collecting more items, items for my epic quest!!
(When you get into this mode it's like a feeling of slight anxiety, fear and adrenalin built into a bundle of excitement and happiness. You randomly have to stop and do these small gentle claps with your hands or you'll burst).
I then go in my "crouching ninja, hidden tiger" mode where I carefully sneak in to my brother's bedroom, here I spend around 20 minutes or so setting out all the items in their respective places. I had brought along lighters, spray cans for baking products, small see-through plastic bags (normally for bread), some glue, plastic bottles I’ve sawed holes in, (burnt the edges of it to make em look used) and last but not least, some of my mom's favorite make up magazines. (I didn't really think she could read, probably just looks at the pictures).
I carefully place the plastic bags here and there, the lighters I put in places they are easy to spot when you first enter. I take off the top of the spray cans and I knock a few over (for realism), the magazine I open on a side where there's women you could potentially fap to, I then place it right next to my brothers head, carefully, as not to wake him. (Luckily he happens to be a very heavy sleeper, so this is NP). I also try placing the glue bottles at places close to him with the lid off, and a little bit of it's content squeezed through the top (for even more realism).
When I'm satisfied with my work I slowly make my exit, and now all I have to do is wait xD (yay)
.
(My mom always wakes him up before school, she usually gets up first. My brother would always miss his first few classes if someone didn't wake him). And even if she didn't wake first, I was so ready for it, making a lot of noise to wake her that is. (Evil laugh).
Pfffthhhh, oh man, she just lost it completely lol. I know I talked earlier about "I'm really good at knowing people's limits, then going close to them but not quite over". In some of my other stories.
Well.... this was one of the times were I accidentally went over. I won't go into details, but I had to run upstairs and get ready to intervene, just in case she attacked him.
PS, in the aftermath I apologized to my brother and he still loves me an awful lot.
PPS, now it's just a cool story. I told this story last on the 14th of October 2011 when I met his new gf for the first time. (She was pretty awesome, she doesn't drink, likes to ride, and she likes my stories).
mandag 7. november 2011
lørdag 5. november 2011
My First Time
So the fine folks over at liquid were having this bragging thread about their sexlife. I couldn't quite compete with the amount or frequency some of the guys had, but I did fill one critera, they were asking for a reply from someone from Europe. And I'm from Europe.
I'm European, I'll give this a go. Even though I'm a little nervous and this ain't completly my thing.
This one time I was in love with this English chick, and I had met her on wow, travelled over there. We had a blast,and it went awesome. I fast forward!!
I'm back home in Norway, on skype, talking with her, and we're talking about things that happened whilst I was there. (The atmosphere was awesome, she was hysterical and in fits, trying to figure out what the hell was going on the first time we did it, and the second time for that matter).
She said she panicked when I accidently tried putting it in the wrong hole, leapfrogged forward and did this twirl, some cussing and an evil stare, freaked when I told her I didn't miss, I thought you were suppose to. (Was my first time lol). And I had been studying watching quite a bit of porno in advance, I even masturbated in her parents bathroom first time I "peed" just in case there would be sex. (To which she abruted me and said "YOU DID WHAT?", but I just ignored that and kept talking, I do that a lot).
I also had no idea of the speed you're suppose to go around doing things. But I felt pretty confident (since I had been studying a lot). So when she first kissed me in her parents sofa, I responded with fingers in her twat, that too caused quite a bit of comotion on her part. Eyes a little something like ÔÔ and a sqwuak. But when she saw I got a bit scared an pulled back, like I did something wrong, she shrugged it off, like thinking "what the hell".
So right about now I'm telling her I had memorized a sequence for sex from a porno movie, and she's literally peeing herself. But I don't quite get it, i'm so eager to tell my story at this point, so I miss the "brb lol, i'm gonna pee myself any second, omg, lol" or something along those lines.
But I'm feeling pretty funny right about now, and I go off on a rant (as I often do), describing in detail what happened, how I had "casually" been trying to get my finger close to her number 2 without her noticing. And the slap I did on her buttocks was a bet I had with a close mate on WoW (Jinx, if anyone wonders, the guy who made this 6 years ago
[spoiler]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c00lUtSR2Y [/spoiler] He was regarded as the 2nd best Rogue on the server)
He'd always make fun of me, saying I was such a pussy and I was way to nice and chicken, bet me 1000gold I would never dare to spank her, and we agreed that a slap would be enough.
Anyway, I sidetracked there for a second.
Yeah, as i'm sitting there in this ephoria, telling my super awesome story. I suddenly get awoken by this sharp, loud, terrifying scream. Literally like someone is having a heart attack / choking / death scream. And it keeps going on repeat, like "UUuoowahhææ owfh owffh dear lord unnngghhhh" (close enough).
And I freeze, really trying hard to figure out what the hell is going on. Then I hear another voice, I recognize it, it's her older brother. Trying to calm her down (about now I realize what's happened, she left the room, her mom came in and started listening to me describing how I sexed up her daughter in very explicit detail). So she's having a panick attack, her brother is trying calm her down. He starts screaming for help, her mom keeps going "The Norwegian, The Norwegian"
A few seconds later the 2nd brother comes, and he's laughing his ass off, the first brother trying to calm his mom pissed at the 2nd one being so immature. Then her dad comes running up, panicking aswell thinking it's an emergency. He start screaming too, the immature brother lols and tells him "Marius fucked Xxxxx and mom just found out".
And right around this time she comes out from the bathroom, and for some reason she starts screaming too, actually never heard her cuss and use that kind of language before, but after some comotion and a few minutes she gets everyone out of the room.
And it's just me and her.... (Holy fk I'm scared lol)
Awh man, she was so mad, actually more angry than I think I've ever heard her before. Not sure what she was saying though, wasn't paying attention, too startled her being all mad at me.
I'm European, I'll give this a go. Even though I'm a little nervous and this ain't completly my thing.
This one time I was in love with this English chick, and I had met her on wow, travelled over there. We had a blast,and it went awesome. I fast forward!!
I'm back home in Norway, on skype, talking with her, and we're talking about things that happened whilst I was there. (The atmosphere was awesome, she was hysterical and in fits, trying to figure out what the hell was going on the first time we did it, and the second time for that matter).
She said she panicked when I accidently tried putting it in the wrong hole, leapfrogged forward and did this twirl, some cussing and an evil stare, freaked when I told her I didn't miss, I thought you were suppose to. (Was my first time lol). And I had been studying watching quite a bit of porno in advance, I even masturbated in her parents bathroom first time I "peed" just in case there would be sex. (To which she abruted me and said "YOU DID WHAT?", but I just ignored that and kept talking, I do that a lot).
I also had no idea of the speed you're suppose to go around doing things. But I felt pretty confident (since I had been studying a lot). So when she first kissed me in her parents sofa, I responded with fingers in her twat, that too caused quite a bit of comotion on her part. Eyes a little something like ÔÔ and a sqwuak. But when she saw I got a bit scared an pulled back, like I did something wrong, she shrugged it off, like thinking "what the hell".
So right about now I'm telling her I had memorized a sequence for sex from a porno movie, and she's literally peeing herself. But I don't quite get it, i'm so eager to tell my story at this point, so I miss the "brb lol, i'm gonna pee myself any second, omg, lol" or something along those lines.
But I'm feeling pretty funny right about now, and I go off on a rant (as I often do), describing in detail what happened, how I had "casually" been trying to get my finger close to her number 2 without her noticing. And the slap I did on her buttocks was a bet I had with a close mate on WoW (Jinx, if anyone wonders, the guy who made this 6 years ago
[spoiler]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c00lUtSR2Y [/spoiler] He was regarded as the 2nd best Rogue on the server)
He'd always make fun of me, saying I was such a pussy and I was way to nice and chicken, bet me 1000gold I would never dare to spank her, and we agreed that a slap would be enough.
Anyway, I sidetracked there for a second.
Yeah, as i'm sitting there in this ephoria, telling my super awesome story. I suddenly get awoken by this sharp, loud, terrifying scream. Literally like someone is having a heart attack / choking / death scream. And it keeps going on repeat, like "UUuoowahhææ owfh owffh dear lord unnngghhhh" (close enough).
And I freeze, really trying hard to figure out what the hell is going on. Then I hear another voice, I recognize it, it's her older brother. Trying to calm her down (about now I realize what's happened, she left the room, her mom came in and started listening to me describing how I sexed up her daughter in very explicit detail). So she's having a panick attack, her brother is trying calm her down. He starts screaming for help, her mom keeps going "The Norwegian, The Norwegian"
A few seconds later the 2nd brother comes, and he's laughing his ass off, the first brother trying to calm his mom pissed at the 2nd one being so immature. Then her dad comes running up, panicking aswell thinking it's an emergency. He start screaming too, the immature brother lols and tells him "Marius fucked Xxxxx and mom just found out".
And right around this time she comes out from the bathroom, and for some reason she starts screaming too, actually never heard her cuss and use that kind of language before, but after some comotion and a few minutes she gets everyone out of the room.
And it's just me and her.... (Holy fk I'm scared lol)
Awh man, she was so mad, actually more angry than I think I've ever heard her before. Not sure what she was saying though, wasn't paying attention, too startled her being all mad at me.
fredag 4. november 2011
The Rape Me Girl
In Norway a lot of girls wants to pretend they get raped, not sure why, but it's really popular.
This one time I was just doing my thang, owning up in Starcraft, and then some other guys who I shared appartment with were out drinking, and one of them brought home this pretty, a little tall, but not too tall, but tall for a girl with long blonde hair home.
The guy she was into was really good with the ladies, smooth talker, gets her wine, appropiate music. I wasn't spying or anything, but I have to walk past the living room to get to the kitchen, and I go to kitchens a lot.
When it got really late, I was going to the kitchen again, they were right about to do it!! And I think the guy was naked, but he was really drunk, and he had tossed her over the side of the sofa and pulled her panties down, she was really drunk too. And he was laughing and cussing when I came by, and he just started walking towards me. I said hi, sup. And he pointed at his thingy.
"So drunk, no chance I can get it up, fuck it." And he went in to his room and locked it.
Anyway, I got a bit uneasy, was a little weird, had just been living there for a month or so, I moved there to share place with Dokosoko and John, 2 friends, and one last guy I didn't know, was pretty big place, and this was the last guy I didn't know.
So I got some stuff in the kitchen, I had a "peek" nothing too pervy, but just a glance at the sofa, cos the hot girl was still sticking her bum up, almost passed out, think she was muttering something. And after I had walked past the living room in slow motion, I ran downstairs to my room.
Put on my headphones, and headed on iccup.
Then suddenly.... Something.... Someone... Opened my door, it was the drunk blonde, she seemed a little abnoxious, like she "woke up" and was feeling bitchy.
I said Hi, as I do to strangers, she didn't reply back, just stared at me. I do this thingy where you try to not pull a smile even though you want to, and I got really nervous. What was this trickery!!
She then left from the entrance of my room, but didn't close the door, and she started walking back and forth, murmering something. I was to startled to be able to continue playing, and I felt stupid just sitting there, so I thought, I should maybe get up and close my door. I went to the door, and she was only a few "yards" away, I guess I have to use yards since most of you people like that shit.
I notice she had her purple dress on, it was pretty short, like a few cm under buttocks area. And she pulls it up to her stomach, no panties, she probably lost them upstairs in that act they had to abort. But she still looked really pist, one of those moments where you think of those meme pics "I got the weirdest boner right now".
I did what any man would do, tried to hurry and close my door, but she stopped it, and did this demonic evil looking stare at me, like she hated me. I quickly stopped trying to close the door and took a few steps back, she dragged her dress up further and started doing this weird walk/dance down the hall, when the bitch had her back to me, I shut the door so fast. I ran to my computer chair, not really sure what to do in it. But if she came back I could pretend I was doing something technical, so I pulled up some graphs and a few more windows, so now I could look really occupied.
A few seconds later she opened the door, now more pissy than ever, all angry since I closed the door probably. I got tired of being friendly and asked, what do you want? She sat down in my bed, I ran and got her a glass of water (seemed like the appropriate thing to do).
Right around this time, Dokosoko came, not sure from where and I had just given her the water, she poured it out, and she hit my sc cd's.....
Ok that's it, I've had it, I grabbed her arm and "yelled, not too loud, but a lot louder than my normal voice, that's for sure" get out, you piece of shit. Now Dokosoko is trying to come an calm the situation, and I said, Nooo, let's kick her out in the snow, she's being dick, and she's naked, she keeps trying to show her pussy.
He said he knew her, and he'd take care of this, she burst out crying!! Now I felt bad, annoying, but I did the "close my door" trick again (which I kept having very little success with, maybe if I had a key). And I think Doko comforted her, got her some clothes and sent her home.
Then I think he left, cos he wasn't there anymore. So I join a game and I start playing, 1-2 min later I hear people come in the entrance, I just think it's just "someone" and I ignore it. (I think I was a bit moody now).
Then "blam" my door open again, and it's the crazy person. And now I go like "ah fkn crap, now what!!"
And she lays in my bed, she tossed of most of her clothes in the hall and she seem to be shaking. I feel bad, I take my blanket over her and I dim the lights, ok, maybe go to sleep.
And I try to keep playing, but it's hard, I hear some ruckus behind me, so im curious,I pause the game and have a lookzies.
Now she's kicked of the blanket, preteding to be asleep ,but she's done that "drag dress up to stomach" trick again, and got her legs spread, exposing her pussy. (It wasn't an ugly pussy or anything, had some meat to it, was mostly white with a few pink areas I do recall).
I get really startled and nervous, wth is going on, where am I!!
I try to turn but I can't seem to be able to focus on starcraft right now. I take a quick turn and peak a little more, I do my squint with the eyes trick, like taking a photograph, then hurry and turn back again.
Now I'm to stressed to play, not sure what to do, and this will look weird if the guy who was with her comes down, or if Dokosoko comes, or, or or if my grandma finds out....
I get up and i'm about to leave the room to think, and I could have sworn she lifted one of her eyelids, to like, check, check what I was doing.
My spider senses were telling me "it'z a tarp". (My concious mind thinks in linguistics very similar to lolcatz).
So I get a really good idea, I run upstairs and I masturbate. Then no "rape, sleep" violation thoughts are in my head. I did plan to go in my room and keep playing, but I got this other awesome idea, instead I just get her some more water, turn off the pc, put it next to her, toss the blanket over her and I go in another room and sleep there.
The next day when I wake up she isn't there, so I just go about my normal routine, but later in the day she comes to visit, and she is asking for me!!
Now she looks like a different person, all polite, shy, pretty and propper. And she spoke, a little nervously. She wanted to know what happened last night. After her first polite opening, she sounded a little "hmm... mischevious". I think that fits, because she said she didn't remember anything, and wanted to know why she woke up in my room, and why she was naked.
Now I'm 78% more relaxed and not nervous, I easily get nervous around drunk people, but when sober, I am in charge.
I start, oh, I'll tell you what happened, and I go in details, and I go through from start to finish, even the slow motion detail when she was almost passed out earlier in the evening with her bum on the edge of the coach. To the part where she kept wanting to show her pussy, to the part where she pretended to be asleep and spread.
Somewhere around there she burst out crying, didn't seem fake or anything, seemed like propper devestation, she nearly broke down, and she ran out, crying real loud. And after that I don't think she came back to visit anymore.
So the moral of the story, a lot of bitches want to pretended they be getting raped I think!!
This one time I was just doing my thang, owning up in Starcraft, and then some other guys who I shared appartment with were out drinking, and one of them brought home this pretty, a little tall, but not too tall, but tall for a girl with long blonde hair home.
The guy she was into was really good with the ladies, smooth talker, gets her wine, appropiate music. I wasn't spying or anything, but I have to walk past the living room to get to the kitchen, and I go to kitchens a lot.
When it got really late, I was going to the kitchen again, they were right about to do it!! And I think the guy was naked, but he was really drunk, and he had tossed her over the side of the sofa and pulled her panties down, she was really drunk too. And he was laughing and cussing when I came by, and he just started walking towards me. I said hi, sup. And he pointed at his thingy.
"So drunk, no chance I can get it up, fuck it." And he went in to his room and locked it.
Anyway, I got a bit uneasy, was a little weird, had just been living there for a month or so, I moved there to share place with Dokosoko and John, 2 friends, and one last guy I didn't know, was pretty big place, and this was the last guy I didn't know.
So I got some stuff in the kitchen, I had a "peek" nothing too pervy, but just a glance at the sofa, cos the hot girl was still sticking her bum up, almost passed out, think she was muttering something. And after I had walked past the living room in slow motion, I ran downstairs to my room.
Put on my headphones, and headed on iccup.
Then suddenly.... Something.... Someone... Opened my door, it was the drunk blonde, she seemed a little abnoxious, like she "woke up" and was feeling bitchy.
I said Hi, as I do to strangers, she didn't reply back, just stared at me. I do this thingy where you try to not pull a smile even though you want to, and I got really nervous. What was this trickery!!
She then left from the entrance of my room, but didn't close the door, and she started walking back and forth, murmering something. I was to startled to be able to continue playing, and I felt stupid just sitting there, so I thought, I should maybe get up and close my door. I went to the door, and she was only a few "yards" away, I guess I have to use yards since most of you people like that shit.
I notice she had her purple dress on, it was pretty short, like a few cm under buttocks area. And she pulls it up to her stomach, no panties, she probably lost them upstairs in that act they had to abort. But she still looked really pist, one of those moments where you think of those meme pics "I got the weirdest boner right now".
I did what any man would do, tried to hurry and close my door, but she stopped it, and did this demonic evil looking stare at me, like she hated me. I quickly stopped trying to close the door and took a few steps back, she dragged her dress up further and started doing this weird walk/dance down the hall, when the bitch had her back to me, I shut the door so fast. I ran to my computer chair, not really sure what to do in it. But if she came back I could pretend I was doing something technical, so I pulled up some graphs and a few more windows, so now I could look really occupied.
A few seconds later she opened the door, now more pissy than ever, all angry since I closed the door probably. I got tired of being friendly and asked, what do you want? She sat down in my bed, I ran and got her a glass of water (seemed like the appropriate thing to do).
Right around this time, Dokosoko came, not sure from where and I had just given her the water, she poured it out, and she hit my sc cd's.....
Ok that's it, I've had it, I grabbed her arm and "yelled, not too loud, but a lot louder than my normal voice, that's for sure" get out, you piece of shit. Now Dokosoko is trying to come an calm the situation, and I said, Nooo, let's kick her out in the snow, she's being dick, and she's naked, she keeps trying to show her pussy.
He said he knew her, and he'd take care of this, she burst out crying!! Now I felt bad, annoying, but I did the "close my door" trick again (which I kept having very little success with, maybe if I had a key). And I think Doko comforted her, got her some clothes and sent her home.
Then I think he left, cos he wasn't there anymore. So I join a game and I start playing, 1-2 min later I hear people come in the entrance, I just think it's just "someone" and I ignore it. (I think I was a bit moody now).
Then "blam" my door open again, and it's the crazy person. And now I go like "ah fkn crap, now what!!"
And she lays in my bed, she tossed of most of her clothes in the hall and she seem to be shaking. I feel bad, I take my blanket over her and I dim the lights, ok, maybe go to sleep.
And I try to keep playing, but it's hard, I hear some ruckus behind me, so im curious,I pause the game and have a lookzies.
Now she's kicked of the blanket, preteding to be asleep ,but she's done that "drag dress up to stomach" trick again, and got her legs spread, exposing her pussy. (It wasn't an ugly pussy or anything, had some meat to it, was mostly white with a few pink areas I do recall).
I get really startled and nervous, wth is going on, where am I!!
I try to turn but I can't seem to be able to focus on starcraft right now. I take a quick turn and peak a little more, I do my squint with the eyes trick, like taking a photograph, then hurry and turn back again.
Now I'm to stressed to play, not sure what to do, and this will look weird if the guy who was with her comes down, or if Dokosoko comes, or, or or if my grandma finds out....
I get up and i'm about to leave the room to think, and I could have sworn she lifted one of her eyelids, to like, check, check what I was doing.
My spider senses were telling me "it'z a tarp". (My concious mind thinks in linguistics very similar to lolcatz).
So I get a really good idea, I run upstairs and I masturbate. Then no "rape, sleep" violation thoughts are in my head. I did plan to go in my room and keep playing, but I got this other awesome idea, instead I just get her some more water, turn off the pc, put it next to her, toss the blanket over her and I go in another room and sleep there.
The next day when I wake up she isn't there, so I just go about my normal routine, but later in the day she comes to visit, and she is asking for me!!
Now she looks like a different person, all polite, shy, pretty and propper. And she spoke, a little nervously. She wanted to know what happened last night. After her first polite opening, she sounded a little "hmm... mischevious". I think that fits, because she said she didn't remember anything, and wanted to know why she woke up in my room, and why she was naked.
Now I'm 78% more relaxed and not nervous, I easily get nervous around drunk people, but when sober, I am in charge.
I start, oh, I'll tell you what happened, and I go in details, and I go through from start to finish, even the slow motion detail when she was almost passed out earlier in the evening with her bum on the edge of the coach. To the part where she kept wanting to show her pussy, to the part where she pretended to be asleep and spread.
Somewhere around there she burst out crying, didn't seem fake or anything, seemed like propper devestation, she nearly broke down, and she ran out, crying real loud. And after that I don't think she came back to visit anymore.
So the moral of the story, a lot of bitches want to pretended they be getting raped I think!!
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